How to Get Through Deployment While in a Relationship

Ever since United States’ tension with North Korea, the recent U.S. Navy shipwrecks, and Trump’s announcement of sending more troops to Afghanistan, I have been weary of the possibility of my husband being deployed. I am fortunate enough that I have been through one deployment with my husband, and know what life is like as a military spouse while he is away. Here are some tips of how you can get through a deployment with your significant other:

Have a Support Circle

When my husband was on deployment, I decided to stay with my family so I can have a support circle. Whenever I was going through a hard time, or just need someone to help me keep my mind off the fact that my husband was on deployment, my friends and family was there. I was able to console in them, and they were really supportive. It was also helpful to reach out to other military spouses who has been through a deployment.

Keep Yourself Busy

It was a great distraction to have family events almost every weekend, outing with friends, and a full-time job. Although my husband was always on my mind, keeping myself busy enable me to not constantly worry. I didn’t constantly sit in my own misery because I miss my husband.

Keep a Journal

Deployments can cause a strain in the relationship from time to time. Sometimes there are things that I wanted to discuss with my husband, but because I don’t want to cause him any stress, I wrote things down in a private journal. Relieving negative feelings and thoughts through writing was very cathartic and made me feel better.

Gather Items for Care Packages

One thing that I look forward to during my husband’s deployment was gathering items for care packages. In the care package, there were items my husband requested, letters, pictures, USB with videos, small presents, and surprises that I put together. It was fun, and there was always great anticipation when my husband received the packages. (Stay tune for a post about Care Package ideas)

Remain Positive and Strong

Deployments are no walk in the park. It can truly be a testament of how strong the relationship is. There will be tough times. Communication is super limited, which can run doubts and concerns through your mind. Just know that this temporary separation is with distance. The love for one another will always be there, as long as you are patient and resilient. Reassure each other as often of your love, and don’t let the negative thoughts overtake the relationship. Once the deployment is over, you both will be stronger than ever as a couple.

I know that deployment can be hard, but there are ways to cope with it. In no time, your loved one will be home with you. If you have experience deployment(s) with your significant other, what are your tips on how to get through it?

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Surprise! We are pregnant!

I know I haven’t posted in a while, and that’s because recently I’ve found out that my husband and I are pregnant! On June 8, 2017, I surprised my husband that we are expecting! This will be our first child and we are thrilled to start our family. This baby is the first grandchild on my husband’s side of the family, and 10th grandchild on my side of the family.

Everyone was overjoyed to know that we are expecting and I have the feeling this baby is going to be super spoiled! We feel so blessed with this pregnancy and all the support from family and friends. Below I made a video compilation of me surprising my husband, and us surprising both our families.

Pregnancy Symptoms

For the past 3 months, the pregnancy took over my well-being. I had nausea, food aversions, bloating, constipation (sorry, TMI), exhaustion, and very low energy. I went from going to the gym 4-5 times a week to once a week. Instead of steadily gaining weight, I lost a good 5lbs.

I am now 15 weeks, and finally in my second trimester. I’m feeling great and my energy has come back. I am trying my best to gain back some weight and going to the gym more often. Overall, my baby is healthy and my pregnancy is progressing well.

Boy or Girl?

Our next appointment can possibly tell us the gender of our baby. Comment below what you think we are having, a boy or a girl?

My husband and I eloped!

One thing that my husband and I have in is that we both are hopeless romantics. Based on our past relationship experiences, I can tell that we both enjoy companionship and crave for long-lasting love. So when we first met, we had an instant connection. It was as if we knew that whatever we went through in the past, they have led us to one another. Mind you, my husband is from California and I’m from North Carolina.

Our first night together in San Diego, CA

Within a few months of us getting to know each other, my husband brought up marriage. I was shocked, excited, and confused all at once. I was shocked because “Damn, he fine! And he see me as wifey material?” I was excited because after multiple failed relationships, I finally I met someone who have the same goals, values, and experiences as me. I was confused because although I wanted to marry him, I was unsure of what the future holds for us. A couple of weeks into constantly thinking and talking to myself internally, I came up with one answer, “Why not?!”

At that time, “love” was a vague term for both my husband and me. We haven’t met in person yet, but knew that we wanted to marry each other. So we scheduled October 15, 2015 to get married at the courthouse and I booked my flight to California. October 10th, I set out my journey to finally meet my husband-to-be. I was nervous and excited. All that we have talked about and anticipated was about to come true.

After a few days of getting to each other and spending time together, he “proposed” to me at Balboa Park the day before our ceremony at the courthouse. It was at night and he was acting quite awkward. I was giving him a hard time right before we arrive, but he handled it well and pulled off the proposal. Although I saw it coming, it a nice surprised and weirdly romantic. We both laughed it off and knew that we were definitely meant to be.

The next day, we got ready and went to the courthouse. The anticipation was settling in, and the only thing that ran through my mind was “Wow, I’m crazy. We both are crazy!” Throughout the ceremony, we both were giggling and smiling in awe that we both are actually doing this. In no time, the ceremony was over. Like what?!?!?!? WE ARE MARRIED! WE ARE LEGALLY MARRIED! We got congratulated by strangers as we walked out, unknowingly displaying genuine happiness as newlyweds.

Sealed our marriage legally by a heartfelt kiss! (Oct 15, 2015)

Although we may be crazy for getting married after knowing each other for only a short period of time, it was the best decision we had ever made. We are still getting to know each other everyday, and even though it is tough sometimes, we are strong and our love is undeniable.